


just a touch of the fire burning so bright

by notthebigspoon



Series: Stick 'Em Up [3]
Category: Baseball RPF
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-18
Updated: 2012-08-18
Packaged: 2017-11-12 09:05:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/489145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notthebigspoon/pseuds/notthebigspoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Brandon is a brat when he's sick, Ryan is still emotionally fucked and Jalynne is a much better wife and girlfriend than either of them really deserves.</p><p>Title taken from Just a Kiss by Lady Antebellum.</p>
            </blockquote>





	just a touch of the fire burning so bright

At least once a week and sometimes twice, Ryan sleeps at Brandon and Jalynne's house. Still, he spends most nights at his own place and when he does, he inevitably wakes up to a message from one or the other of them. This morning, he wakes up to voicemails from his parents and kids telling him they love and miss him. Those get saved to his phone to listen to again later. He has texts from a couple different people that he answers as he wanders around the apartment after his shower. He's halfway into a mug of coffee when he finally gets one from Brandon.

BCraw: I'm dying.

Jalynne: No he isn't.

Jalynne: I know you're on your way. Get soup from that deli please?

And just as she'd said, he was already climbing into his truck when she sends it. He makes a pit stop at a grocery store near his house and gets pedialyte and popsicles. He hits the deli next door for a chicken noodle soup that, since he discovered it the first weekend he stayed at Ryan's apartment, Crawford will eat by the gallon. He gets a a few containers to go before heading across town.

Admittedly, he doesn't very much care for Brandon and Jalynne's apartment building. The apartment itself is great, he loves it there, it's home to his two favorite people in San Francisco. The building though, the people in it seem like they watch him and he wonders if they know who he is, wonders how Brandon stands going in and out all the time. Today's more of the same and he keeps his head down, takes the stairs even through they're on the fifth floor because there's a guy in a Dodgers jersey glaring at Ryan as he's getting in the elevator and wouldn't that be a fun 45 seconds.

He lets himself into the apartment, which still makes him a little uncomfortable, except Jalynne had smacked him the last time he'd knocked. He yells to announce his presence and moves into the kitchen to put everything on the table, leaning in for a kiss from his girlfriend. He'll admit he's still in the stage where he gets the warm and fuzzies from calling her that, or calling Brandon his boyfriend. It's okay, he's cool with his marshmallowy side.

“So what's the damage?”

“Meh. Fever, queasy, scratchy throat. He's a big brat when he's sick.” She mutters and it makes Ryan smile. He's been here. Cranky pregnant woman and whiny sick man are a very dangerous combination.

“Poor guy.” Ryan chuckles, and he yips when she swats his ass before grabbing a glass. He dumps a few ice cubes in and pours it half full of the pedialyte, taking one of the soup containers and wandering to the bedroom. It's dim, just the TV playing Everybody Loves Raymond lighting it, and Brandon's curled in on himself, sniffling and coughing. His head is pushed into his pillow and his arms are wound around a Panda pillowpet. Ryan tries not to laugh as he sits on the edge of the bed. “Hey baby.”

“I'm dying.”

“You're not dying.”

“Of the _plague_.”

“You're just sick, dumbass.” Ryan smiles, resting the back of his hand against Brandon's forehead. It makes him frown a little. “Okay, so you have a fever but it's probably just one of those bugs. There's been one going around.”

“I'm dying of the plague, how are you so calm about this?!” Brandon demands before falling into a coughing fit. Ryan sighs, rubbing his back until the coughing subsides.

“I have three kids.” Ryan shrugs, sliding an arm under Brandon's shoulders and maneuvering him until he's sitting up. Brandon doesn't let go of the pillowpet and Ryan says nothing about it, just holds up the glass of pedialyte, “Drink this. Pedialyte. It'll keep you from getting dehydrated. Got you some soup from Fugelsang's.”

“Not a little kid...” Brandon grumbles, but he drinks the pedialyte without any further complaint. Something about it pleases him, because he makes a happy noise and slouches down in bed. Ryan pets his hair but Brandon just eyes him. “Did you get me some get better bears too?”

Ryan shifts uncomfortably and Brandon giggles. Jalynne passes by them, ruffling Ryan's hair, “Don't worry about it sweetie. I told you, he's a brat when he's sick. Now... I've got a doctors appointment. See? Brandon will do anything to get out of going to the doctor, even if it's not about him.”

“I can take you.”

“I... you want to?” Jalynne asks, looking a little taken aback. “It's for the baby. You've uh...”

She doesn't have to finish. He knows he's been weird about it. But first he was getting involved with a married couple, which was enough of an adjustment but then they'd kind of segued into being his girlfriend and his boyfriend and his girlfriend was pregnant with her husband's baby. He may have done a little panicking and up to this appoint, avoided involvement in anything baby related. But while Ryan is a lot of things, he's not an asshole, and he can be supportive of his girlfriend and take her to the doctor damn it.

She doesn't argue though, actually looks pretty happy that he's finally showing some enthusiasm, and they both give Brandon a kiss goodbye and admonish him to call if he needs them before heading downtown to Jalynne's doctor. In the waiting room, he reads bad magazines and makes faces at the news channel. He tries to hide behind Jalynne when the other people in the waiting room (all women) watch him too closely. He goes back with her and holds her hand, laughs at her shudder when they put the cold goo on her stomach to do the ultra sound. 

He holds her hand, watching the screen and it brings back memories of doing this when it was his own kids coming. It's a nice feeling, though, because he couldn't think of two better people that deserve this more. On an impulse he kisses Jalynne's cheek and she beams at him, all teary eyed. It's beautiful.

They should probably go straight home to Brandon but really, it's probably just a cold and Ryan's just not that worried about it. Instead he takes Jalynne to her favorite burger joint for lunch where they split a basket of cheese fries and drink milkshakes. He rests his chin on his hand, eyeing the ultrasound and sighing. He misses his kids.

“Missing your kids?”

“I miss them all the time.” Ryan answers with a shrug. “But... there's not much I can do about it.”

“Except fight.” She says and when he starts to protest, she pets his hand. “No, I'm not complaining. I get it. It's an outlet and a situation where you feel you have control. I don't want to take that away from you baby.”

“Brandon does.”

“Maybe. But only because he cares about you. He just doesn't understand. He told me about watching you fight, that was really hard for him. He hates seeing the people he loves hurting so to have to stand by and watch you get the snot beat out of you was almost more than he could handle.”

“I won!”

“You still took a beating.”

“Does he want me to stop?” Ryan asks, and there's a pit of dread in his stomach. Because he loves the fighting, not as much as he loves baseball or his boyfriend or his girlfriend or his family, but he loves it all the same and he doesn't know what he'd do without it. Without the rush and the pain.

“He'll never ask you to. But... if... sometimes, is it just the pain you need? Not the rush of the fight?” She asks, and Ryan nods wordlessly. He stopped being ashamed of his desires a long time ago. “We uh. Well, I've been doing some research. Online. Which is stuff you probably already know about but Brandon and I talked about it. If the pain is something you want, we can give that to you. We will, if you'll give us the chance.”

They can't kiss in public, but when he gives her a searching look and a slow nod, she beams and squeezes his hand before leaning over the table to hug him. They finish their milkshakes and he pays the waitress, shooing his girlfriend out the door and back to the truck. They stop at a store for more popsicles because Brandon will eat a fuck ton of them when he's well, with a sore throat he's probably already eaten an entire box.

At home, it turns out they're exactly right. He's drank about half of the bottle of pedialyte and eaten all of the popsicles. He's fast asleep on the couch, _still_ clutching the Panda pillow. Ryan doesn't want to say goodbye, doesn't want to leave but he's got to be at the park soon. He's inside long enough to kiss Brandon's cheek and give Jalynne a smooch, help put the groceries away and he's back out the door.

There's a strange sense of peace to the drive and he finds himself reflecting on the day. He can finally think of his girlfriend being pregnant, think of the fact that she's married and her husband is the father and the husband is also his boyfriend, and for the first time the whole thing doesn't make him panic and wonder if he belongs. His presence is accepted, they're happy when he's there and Jalynne is downright ecstatic that he's actually showing some enthusiasm of the baby. 

And on top of that, they're offering to hurt him... to give him something that played a hand in driving his wife away and prevented him from finding another meaningful relationship. Well, a lot of things played into the second one. Ryan will admit he's kind of fucked up in a lot of ways. Ways that Brandon and Jalynne don't seem to mind, that they're willing to adapt to.

He's a lucky man.


End file.
